Okay, so there's no article for this one. It's as simple as this; I am an addict for straight men! Now, don't get me wrong. I don't want anyone to get that shit twisted...it has to be a particular type of straight man. He must be smart, funny, and definitely attractive. Okay, so even beyond that they most possess the "It Factor." So you might be wondering what is the quote on quote "It Factor." In short, the "It Factor" is that thing/feeling/subconscious yearning that you have for a person even when it is undeserving! It is that thing that just makes you want to fall down on your knees and start servicing at that very moment! It's uncontrollable, subconscious, undeniable, and deftly haunting. No matter what you do, what you say, or try to tell yourself...the thoughts are still there...you fantasizing about what it would be like to have him, inside, of your heart, your mind, body and soul. "The IT FACTOR!"... the bane of my existence and yet, those feelings signal to the core of my existence that I am alive, I have feelings and desires, however untouched and unexplored. The feelings suggest that just maybe, there is and will be, something in my life to come that will shatter the jade of my heart, and restore in me a new heart...a new beginning. It is my yearning for the untangible, the mystical, the magical connection for someone that Is and knows that even if there is heavy petting, late night romances, soft caresses, and sensual conversations....that there will never be anything lasting...that when the sun rises all things return to the same..I am just another gay guy
So today my friend sent me an article MSNBCs sexual health section entitled Marriage Eludes High Achieving Black Women. I found the article interesting, weird, and annoying. It felt like he, Brian Alexander, just cut and pasted people's ideas together to try to convey a point.
One of my biggest problems is this idea of the unreliable or nonpresent Black man and unhappy Black women. On the one side you have two White women from Yale arguing that Black women are unhappy because the can't get married and can't have children because Black men aren't present. On the other hand, Alexander also quotes Black Yale scholar Averil Clarke who is arguing that it's about Black women trying to find love. So we see that one group of scholars are constructing the argument (according to how Brian Alexander constructed this article) in such a way that blames unhappiness on Black men and another scholar saying it's about me and other Black women trying to find love. Oh my, WHO TO BELIEVE?!?!?! The one that places the blame on Blackness or the one who puts the responsibility for one's own happiness on one's self?!?!?!
And yet, if I had to go by the title of the article and from the little discernible input of his own ideas in the article... i'd have to suggest that his ideological perspective leans toward social ideas that still have Blackness, Black men as the cause for unhappiness and unfulfillment in Black women.
I think I smell invested interests here...hmmmm
The next step is to find the two scholars from Yale and read their article...i'm sure it'll be very interesting!
This is ASoulsForce here coming at you fresh from Charm City Baltimore.
I am a recent college graduate. I have a M.A. in Sexuality Studies and a B.A. in Religious Studies. I am an aspiring Activist, Community Health Advocate, and Diversity Educator. My current research interests are in Black Masculinity, HIV/AIDS in Black Communities, Poverty & it's impact on self-esteem and success, and Faith Based Institutions and Sexual Health.
After years of feeling like my voice has been silenced, i've decided to speak for myself, tell my own story, share my perspectives, and hope that words I write will inspire some, challenge others, agitate the status quo, and start deconstructing essentialist and normative social ideas that keep people bound, self-loathing, and insecure.
This blog is about my liberation, the liberation of people who feel like I do, and an opportunity for like minded people to share and grow together.
"Each One, Teach One!"